Looking for the good.

I said in my last post that there were some really exciting things happening for us. Well at the time I wrote it I was waiting for the right time to announce that Baby #3 was on the way. I was so excited! I have wanted another baby for a while now and after getting Andy fully on board and having our insurance stuff all worked out we were ready! As soon as I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test this baby was a part of our family! I had nursery ideas and names already in my head! I miscarried at 6 weeks. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would miscarry. Both of my girls were so easy to conceive and carry. I thought I was one of the lucky ones.

 Well needless to say my world turned upside down that Sunday I came home from church to see that I had blood in my garments. I did some research online to find out why I might be bleeding. Everything I read said that bleeding/spotting was perfectly normal in the first trimester. To be safe I spent the rest of the day in bed. The next morning I woke up to a lot more blood. I immediately called my Doctor. He told me to get some blood work done to be sure if was miscarrying or not. He told me that it was most likely that I would or have lost the baby. I was devastated. I called my mom and she came over to watch the girls while I did my blood work. I had to get some blood drawn then wait 48 hours and get it done again so that they could compare the numbers. High numbers mean everything is good low numbers mean miscarriage. In my head I was thinking that it was just going to be a little scare and everything was going to be fine.... Well I was wrong. The numbers came back a few days later and they were really really low. I'm grateful I wasn't far enough along where a D&C was needed. One of my tender mercies from my Heavenly Father. Another tender mercy was our insurance started the day I had to get my blood work done. Before that we had zero coverage.

As hard as this experience was/is I know that everything happens for a reason. I know that the sweet little spirit will be back! Things weren't quite right with my body preventing that spirit from their own body. A friend of mine came over with her husband to give me a blessing. Andy had called her husband and just told him I needed a blessing. He didn't give any details. When she walked in the door she came right over and hugged me and asked if I had miscarried. It kind of took me by surprise that she knew. She told me that on the way over she just had a feeling that is what had happend. Hailie had miscarried 4 years ago and knew exactly what I was going through. It was so nice having her there to hug and talk to. She knew how I was feeling. She even rubbed my feet! She gave me a foot zone and told me that she thought that little spirit will be back. It brought a lot of peace when she told me that.

Family and friends that we broke the news to were very loving and sweet. I received so many phone calls, beautiful flowers, an amazing package from my Mother in law and sister in laws, I even got dinner from my Brother in law and his sweet wife. I have felt so loved through it all. I have some truly amazing people in my life.

I have so much to be grateful for. We just bought a beautiful new house that is closer to Andy's work so we will be able to spend more time with him. We sold our house in a matter of days. 3 days to be exact. Things are working out for us. God is watching out for us. I need to remind myself from time to time that I can't control everything. God has a plan for me and he wants me to learn something from this experience. I need to be more patient, humble, and trust in Him completely.